Monday, February 11, 2008

The Answers to Life’s Persistent Questions

Or, The World According to Bob

SpamU’s latest production (above) arrived today. It is enlightening to see how Bob spends his valuable time these days, engaged in making promos and infomercials. I guess that is why we pay him the big bucks. Such versatility. Ian McKellen watch out.

One might naively expect from the clip's introduction that it would be devoted to answering some of life’s persistent questions. Au contraire, the usual nothing burgers are served up lukewarm:

1. Indoor Entertainment?

2. Going Green?

3. New Facilities?

Green Bob smugly addresses these issues a la Nixon, complete with a gas-fired fireplace in the background. He is wearing a tasteful maroon/gold tie and stylish glasses. No Walter Mondale specs for OurPrez, he could be the CEO of Twin City Federal, or an elderly anchor.

Burning questions? Welcome to the new semester? Bob, in case you haven't heard, we have been in session for nearly a month. These kinds of semester kick-offs usually are served up at the beginning of the ah, er, semester…

Next time you do this, get some real students asking real questions. One such question is: How much is tuition going to go up next year?

Another question from a faculty member is: How are we going to pay for being the third greatest public university on the planet?

You might want to think about the answers to these persistent questions before your next visit to the legislature.

Your humble servant, Bonzo

(Spam - it's what's for breakfast and it's good for the State's economy.)


Anonymous said...

In the real world, you couldn't smack talk your boss from your desktop computer at work and still have a job. It must be nice to be holed up in a bunker and not be held accountable for your idiotic pot shots at the person who cuts your checks. And don't start getting technical with me on who is in charge of your tenure, Bob Bruininks is essentially your boss whether you like it or not. I bet that makes you burn up inside, but God bless academic freedom, right!?

Mr. B. said...

You didn't get anything right, Unreasonable, except for the part about: "God bless academic freedom."

And I am sure that Bob would agree with me on that one.